When Kids Start Believing There’s Only One Way to Be Healthy or Beautiful

 It starts earlier than we think.

Children —sometimes as young as five or six—begin to pick up on the idea that there’s one “right” way to look. Maybe it’s something they see in a cartoon, or the way a toy is shaped, or a comment overheard at the dinner table. It is often not a loud, intentional and explicit message (but sadly, it sometimes is) but rather a slow and quiet message: to be healthy, to be beautiful, and to be accepted you must look a certain way.

As someone who works with people on healing their relationships with food and body image, I’ve seen just how deeply this belief can take root. Kids grow into teens and adults who feel shame when their bodies don’t match what they’ve been taught is “ideal.” And it’s not their fault—it’s what our culture has told them over and over again.

The message that thin equals healthy and beautiful is everywhere. It shows up in school health lessons that focus on weight instead of well-being, in media that only shows one kind of body, and in compliments that praise shrinking over thriving. By the time many of us realize how harmful those messages are, we’ve been carrying them for years.

The truth is, health doesn’t have a single look. Beauty doesn’t either. We are all wired differently—genetically, emotionally, physically. Bodies are meant to come in different shapes and sizes. And when we try to fit them into one mold, it doesn’t make us healthier—it makes us feel like we’re failing.

That’s why I really appreciate approaches like Health at Every Size®. They remind us that how we feel, how we treat ourselves, and how connected we are to our bodies matters so much more than how we look. For kids, this can be life-changing. Imagine growing up believing your body is worthy of care and respect, just as it is—not something that constantly needs to be fixed.

If you’re a parent, a teacher, or just someone who cares about the next generation, your voice matters. The way we talk about food, bodies, and health matters. Let’s start changing the conversation—because kids deserve to grow up feeling at home in their bodies, not at war with them.